You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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