"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
