did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
