What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Randomize
