i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
