i already hear my dad disowning me
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
