chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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