you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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