i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
