I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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