Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
