forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I need a beard to bite.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
