so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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