he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
