3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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