There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
