i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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