I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
