I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
