Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
