you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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