I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
