She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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