Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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