the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
