Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
