Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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