Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
