saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
