Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
