saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
