we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
