I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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