Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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