Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
