So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Randomize
