no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
