Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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