I love black thongs
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
