im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
