Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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