I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
