you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
