he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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