Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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