Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize