Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
PANTIES FOUND
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
