man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
