You're so nebulous sometimes
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
