Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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