I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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