so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
