Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
