Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
