we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
