Define "chronic" masturbator.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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