Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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