I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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