it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
