i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
