there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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