Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
