You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
