These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
two words: eviction party
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
