Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
