No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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