I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
