Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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