just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
