i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
