just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
