So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Your tits are I can't wait for
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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