hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
