Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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