Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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