i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
