im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize