found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
