Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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