so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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